I Should Mind My Own Beeswax

I have lately been recognizing more and more a major battle in my life that I have let affect my spiritual involvement or apathy.  I get frustrated when I think I see 'faults' in others.  True or imagined, I have been seriously discouraged or angered by faults I have perceived in religious authorities that I had held up on a pedestal, or a Christian friend who I felt betrayed and gossiped about me in a dark time of my life.  I let things like that push me further from God, rather than letting it teach me that man is flawed, and only God will be the one to never let you down.

I've been reading and re-reading a lot in Romans lately and I saw this section of Romans 3 (in verses 2-4).

[[Context: This is not at all anti-Semitism.  This is Paul, an ethnic Jew and Christian apostle, speaking to Christians about an issue that was big in their day, about relationships between Jewish and Gentile Christians and touching on some false teachings that had been going around that Jews were a peg above Gentiles since they were of course God's chosen people (and were circumcised, while many Gentiles were not).]]

"To begin with, the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God. 3 What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God? 4 By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar" ESV

(that last phrase reads a bit clearer in NLV: "Even if everyone else is a liar, God is true.").

One thing my pastor talked about in a series on marriage that applies to any relationships is that if your relationship is in peril, you really need to focus on things you are doing wrong or can improve upon, not calling out faults in your partner, because you cannot change the other person.  You cannot control what they do, but you can control your own actions.  Being able to see the effort you put in if you start to make changes in yourself could compel them to also try harder though.

A lot of times I get upset about how judgmental and non-loving Christians can be and not realize it, but then I realize, my pointing it out and getting upset about it is judging too.  Sooo, I'm going to start trying to apply the point my pastor made in that marriage series.  I'm going to try more and more to mind my own beeswax and work on me, and let what other people do be between them and God.

I need to love on people the same whether they are someone struggling with issues I have before (that I can easily identify with), or if they are the other person trying to judge the one struggling. 

God loves every one of us EXACTLY where we are, not withholding til after we've 'cleaned up', and I certainly need to practice more of that unconditional love myself.

The Runaway

I got the title of this blog page from a book that I have found refreshing upon discovery.  It is "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. 

The Christianity I have been surrounded by most of my life is one that seemed so vastly opposite the frank, honest faith that Brennan Manning voiced in this book.  In its manifesto, this Christianity had echoed many of the truths that I saw Manning reiterate, but in practice, it was populated mostly by legalists that just couldn't help themselves, judged from cover appearances, and feared 'bad influences' above all else.

How sad that because of growing up in this it blows my mind that we should accept the fact that our nature is to err (and we will many, many times).  I've been taught this truth since childhood but never realized I could really believe it.  We need not hide or pretend we are perfect, God knows what we are.  And He loves us anyway.

Man sins.  God forgives.  Man falls.  God picks him up.  Man turns their back on God.  God follows.  Man wakes up and wants to come back home.  God is already there.

I am the runaway--the deserter.  I am on a journey to know the God I chose to forget.